Sergeant Matthew Paul Coonts

Well I write this post with many emotions. My taller, but younger (baby) brother left today to go serve his country for the Army in Iraq. He is in the 282nd Engineering Company, where he and 20 other soliders in his unit will be building roads, schools, and houses. Many thoughts come to mind when describing my brother, Matt:

Strong. Dedicated. Loving Husband & Father. Wonderful Brother & Son. Fun Uncle. Devoted to his duty as a solider. Understanding. Beautiful Smile. Sincere Friend. Gentle Giant. Huge Heart for others. Contagious Laugh. Big Muscles. Saver. Awesome Story Teller. (which he will have some new ones to share to all of us when he returns.) Servant Heart.

All of our family is very proud of him, however we have shown an array of emotions. This is the first time we have had to experience having a loved one in the armed forces. (Now I know how much I have taken others loved ones for granted that have served or are currently serving our country.)

I selfishly haven't been all that excited because he is my buddy. He is my only family member that is here in Grand Junction, CO with me. I loved that he is just a phone call away whenever I want to see him or if I need to just chat or visit. I hate the fact he is going to miss out on his son while he is gone (which again, never hit home until now that other's before him that have served our country have had to do or has already done). I hate the fact that he isn't going to be here when we have our baby. The other thing that is probably our biggest struggle is the fear of the unknown. Which; I know isn't healthy, because I know that is lack of faith and trust on our part. But it still doesn't make it any easier, so we will have to chalk this up as one of those lifetime experiences that we can grow from.

See with Matt; him being the youngest brother or the baby of the family, we have all of our memories tied up from the very beginning with him. For all of us older siblings we were there to remember him when he was brought home from the hospital and be apart of all of his stepping stones as he grew up. As one of his very protective older sisters, I was able to be there if anyone tried to mess with him. I also thought it was my duty and privilage to give my opinion of whoever he dated and give my stamp of approval or veto. Matt is and has always been one very blessed individual and being able to witness and be apart of his life has been a blessing for us all. And I think that no one wants to admit the obvious fear of possibly losing someone. I can't nor do I want to ever think of him not being in my life, PERIOD! Life is just so precious and I am thankful that if my brother's service to his country makes all of us more aware of what those soliders have done and had to give up and in return make us more thankful and appreciative of the daily life we have and get, then I am more blessed to be aware of it.

I have overheard Matthew tell others that he was very excited to go serve over in Iraq. And he also expressed that he didn't think anyone else was excited for him. Which makes my heart sad. Somehow our emotions of missing him daily and expressing our love for him in the more "worried" state wasn't a good emotion. I hope and pray that he was able to realize and know that we are all very proud of him and that we have to turn our trust and faith to God, our Heavenly Father that he has had this planned out for our Matthew from the very beginning. This will be a great experience for Matthew and I am proud to know that he is not just some solider...that he is my brother, that he is my blood, and he is loved.